Why are you doing this?
I thought waiting for you is a bliss.
Now, you’re ignoring me.
I’m in an immense misery.
I thought you love me.
But I think, the one you love is she.
Please tell it to me soon.
Because my life is now half-ruin.
Let me be free with the truth.
I will forget you as soon as I could.
This was a lyric from Orange and Lemons’ Heaven Knows (Angel has flown). I’ve been pondering some time about how I would be happy with my current situation in life. I guess asking other people of what to do is not the answer. They can give me lots of ideas but I can never do it myself. Easier said than done, i may say. I am the only one who can understand myself and I am the one who can help myself. Friends are just there to back us up. But whatever, I am still finding my own way to cope up to this situation. I am still sad but now I am loving myself more, so I am barely breathing. I don’t even know why love needs the right time too. I am just afraid of coming to the right time but without the right love anymore. I am afraid of being left behind again. I am afraid of everything that could hurt me. Who isn’t? Please pray for me. I hope I’ll get by.
When we met 4 years ago
Had set up boundaries cuz you are high and I am low
I never thought we’d be that close
Became your best friend and the shoulder to cry on
Then we went to our separate ways
Nothing had changed
Now we’re closer than ever
Feels like forever
On an idle day, I usually sleep. It’s my own getaway from the pain I’m feeling because you. But now, I couldn’t sleep either because you also infiltrated my peaceful dreams and now a nightmare. I am halfway in wanting to sleep and wanting to wake. Where can I possibly put myself into? I hate this feeling. I hate the pain. I hate whenever my tears flow uncontrollably. I hate it when I remember you because I always do. All the things surrounding me, keep reminding me that you exist. That we exist. That we never worked out. That you left. That I’m left behind. That you moving on with your life. That I can’t even make a single step forward. That I still love you.
I found love on a rainy day
and lost it on a sunny day.
I want to move on before the month of May
because it keeps getting painful everyday.
A game in which everyone’s willing to play
A game without amusement or recreation usually played on a sunny day
A game where victors have eternal bliss
Whilst underdogs receive multitude hiss
A game of gambling life and death
Full of ambiguity, hesitation and Russian roulette
Pain is the ultimate aftermath of this
Some can die without knowing what happiness is
It’s sad to know that only few found truth
Because others’ been blinded; had already become brute
Caveat! Hoax is in this reality game show
A game called love, now you know
What could I possibly do
Other than letting you go?
I know you love me, too
But your family doesn’t. So
I bid farewell now
Though my heart throbs so hard.
The now and forever vow
has been broken. I’ve been barred.
It’s a painful undertaking
we are doing. But
if we succeed, the sequel resulting
is definitely worthy of the shot.
I will wait for you
’til forever, I guess
Just promise me you’ll come back
and my heart will know happiness.